{"id":576,"date":"2019-06-09T06:42:35","date_gmt":"2019-06-09T06:42:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/?p=576"},"modified":"2019-07-02T04:52:51","modified_gmt":"2019-07-02T04:52:51","slug":"emotional-intelligence-why-it-can-matter-more-than-iq-by-daniel-goleman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-why-it-can-matter-more-than-iq-by-daniel-goleman\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ By Daniel Goleman"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman \u25ba Animated Book Summary\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/n6MRsGwyMuQ?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Your high IQ doesn\u2019t mean anything if you\ndon\u2019t use it in the right way. If you cannot make sense of your own emotions,\nyou can even be a genius and still fail in life. There are people with very\nhigh IQs who seem to repeat the same mistakes over and over again- usually,\nthis involves their personal, intimate lives. Vincent Van Gogh is one famous\nexample of how a genius can be plagued by bad emotional intelligence. Although\na great painter, throughout his life he suffered from severe mental illness,\nwhich practically made him unable to understand and tame his own feelings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s why Daniel Goleman thinks that EI\n(emotional intelligence) \u201ccan matter more than IQ\u201d. People with average IQ and\ngood EI can still rise very high, while people with high IQ and low EI are\nalmost always destined for failure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before you start crying over your bad luck,\nyou should know one thing- EI can be improved. This is one of the most\nimportant goals of Goleman\u2019s book- first to thoroughly describe the concept of\nEI, and secondly, to help you with improving your emotional intelligence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"960\" height=\"623\" src=\"http:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/why-a-students-work-for-c-students.jpg\" alt=\"What is Emotional Intelligence?\" class=\"wp-image-577\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/why-a-students-work-for-c-students.jpg 960w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/why-a-students-work-for-c-students-300x195.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/why-a-students-work-for-c-students-768x498.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/why-a-students-work-for-c-students-416x270.jpg 416w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/why-a-students-work-for-c-students-24x16.jpg 24w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/why-a-students-work-for-c-students-36x23.jpg 36w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/why-a-students-work-for-c-students-48x31.jpg 48w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 960px) 100vw, 960px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What is EI?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The author divides this complex concept\ninto 5 distinct domains:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1<strong>.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Knowing one\u2019s emotions<\/strong>&#8211; EI starts with\nself-reflection. If you want to really get to know your own emotional states,\nyou should first calm your mind- isolate yourself from the noise of everyday\nhubbub. After you do this, the same should be done with your mind. Everything\nunnecessary ( thoughts like: \u201cI forgot to go to the store yesterday!\u201d) should\nbe them removed from your mind. And then you will be able to feel the whole\nscope of your emotional life and make some sense of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\n<strong>Emotional management<\/strong>&#8211; one of\nthe best way to control some emotions (like anger) is <strong>the 10 seconds rule<\/strong>. For this exercise, you simply need to\nrecognize the first signs of fury (i.e. muscle tension), after which you sit\ndown and calmly and slowly count to 10. Although this may seem like a trivial\nexercise, it\u2019s actually quite effective. A lot of psychotherapists utilize it\nevery day in their practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\n<strong>Motivate yourself<\/strong>&#8211; in the\nbook \u201cFlow: Psychology of Optimal Experience\u201d, there is a lot of talk about\ngoal-setting. Your motivation depends quite a lot on the type of goals you\nchoose. They should be attainable, clear, and realistic. Finally, you should\noccasionally reward yourself for doing the good work (and inversely, punish\nyourself when you did something really stupid).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\n<strong>Empathy<\/strong>&#8211; empathy is probably\nthe most important domain of emotional intelligence. All the other domains\ninclude empathy, to some extent. For instance, you cannot really get to know\nyour own emotions if you don\u2019t empathize with yourself. Yes, you heard us\ncorrectly, you can empathize with yourself, and it is extremely effective for\npeople with low self-respect. In the mindedness psychotherapy, this is one of\nthe most important concepts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>5.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\n<strong>Pay attention to your\nrelationships<\/strong>&#8211; this is your final and most important tests. Everything you\nlearned so far has to be implemented in the domain of your personal life. Once again,\nthe most important is empathy. Too often we entrench ourselves in highly\ndefensive positions and don\u2019t allow our partners to find their way back into\nour lives. And this is mostly because we lack empathy. We refuse to understand\nothers. What we have to understand is that people around us will sometimes say\nsome bad things, but that doesn\u2019t mean they really think that way. Even if they\ndo think bad of us, what difference does it make? Much more often, we hold\ngrudges against our loved ones, and this is where empathy can help. You can say\nto yourself: \u201cWait a minute. I have been ignoring my girlfriend for several\ndays now, she must feel terrible by now. I better give her a call.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"556\" height=\"720\" src=\"http:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/emotion1.jpg\" alt=\"Wisdom, Vision, Emotion\" class=\"wp-image-578\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/emotion1.jpg 556w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/emotion1-232x300.jpg 232w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/emotion1-209x270.jpg 209w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/emotion1-19x24.jpg 19w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/emotion1-28x36.jpg 28w, https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/emotion1-37x48.jpg 37w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 556px) 100vw, 556px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Pay attention to your temperament<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>There can be a lot of hurdles on the path\ntowards healthy emotional intelligence. Your genes, for example. They determine\nyour temperamental type, and you can practically do nothing about it. In short,\ntemperament is the usual way you react to the surrounding world. Some people\nreact in a shy way, some are extremely active, others are sensitive, etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Old Greeks also noticed this, and they have\nmade 4 distinct temperamental types that we use, in one form or another, even\ntoday. And these are:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\n<strong>Choleric<\/strong>&#8211; these people are\nextremely active and emotional. It is also hard for them to cool down, and they\nmight get frustrated a lot. In short, these people are not easy to deal with,\nbut in the end, we all like them as they are so active energetic all the time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\n<strong>Sanguine<\/strong>&#8211; in some ways, these\nindividuals are similar to cholerics- they are also active and have lots of\nenergy. On the other way, it is much easier for sanguines to calm down. They\nhave intense emotions like cholerics, but they also calm down very quickly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\n<strong>Melancholic<\/strong>&#8211; this type of\npeople is gloomy and sulky. They aren\u2019t that active-quite the contrary, they\nare rather passive, but they experience very strong emotions. They are somewhat\npredisposed towards experiencing sad, negative emotions, hence their name-\nmelancholic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;\n<strong>Phlegmatic<\/strong>&#8211; these people are,\nas we would call them today, \u201cchill\u201d. Nothing can get them tense and uptight.\nThey keep their cool even during the most stressful times. They are also quite\npassive and inactive, and they don\u2019t experience strong emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why did we go into such lengths to explain\nthese basic types of temperament? Because some temperaments, especially\ncholeric and melancholic, have a lot more trouble with their emotions\ninterpersonal relationships. More specifically, these people are very sensitive,\nand they get very emotional. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are choleric, you probably get angry\nat people for some petty reasons. You regret it after, but it\u2019s not easy for\nyou to apologize. But you simply have to take this first step. One of the\nexercises we\u2019ve mentioned before- 10 seconds rule- will be very good for you.\nIt will help you to control your anger and frustration and avoid hurting others\n(and yourself). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the other hand, melancholics don\u2019t act\nin such a harsh manner. Quite the contrary, they keep all the frustration and\nsometimes turn it towards themselves. This is extremely destructive, which is\nwhy melancholics need to learn how to express their emotions. Melancholics\noften seem aloof and distant, although they are overwhelmed by emotions. As a\nresult, their friends and partners might regard them as emotionally cold. To\navoid this, melancholics must appropriately express their emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Conclusion<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We will end this summary with a quote: <\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p>\u201cPeople with well-developed emotional skills are also more likely to be content and effective in their lives, mastering the habits of mind that foster their own productivity; people who cannot marshal some control over their emotional life fight inner battles that sabotage their ability for focused work and clear thought.\u201d.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your high IQ doesn\u2019t mean anything if you don\u2019t use it in the right way. If you cannot make sense of your own emotions, you can even be a genius and still fail in life. There are people with very high IQs who seem to repeat the same mistakes over and over again- usually, this involves their personal, intimate lives. Vincent Van Gogh is one famous example of how a genius can be plagued by bad emotional intelligence. Although a&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"btn btn-default\" href=\"https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-why-it-can-matter-more-than-iq-by-daniel-goleman\/\"> Read More<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">  Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":579,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,13],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ By Daniel Goleman - GIGL<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.greatideasgreatlife.com\/blog\/emotional-intelligence-why-it-can-matter-more-than-iq-by-daniel-goleman\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ By Daniel Goleman - GIGL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Your high IQ doesn\u2019t mean anything if you don\u2019t use it in the right way. 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